When a loved one is taken from us, the emotional and physical pain of that loss can be acute. Navigating life without them takes a while but it does get easier, and we can find ways to include and honor them if we pay attention. With their help, this becomes the new challenge, forging a new kind of relationship.
How do I know this? I know this because my relationship with my dad changed when he passed away, but it didn’t end. In fact, we talk more now than ever before. Sure, he can’t answer me back with words and I can’t give his body hugs anymore, but we still communicate. This is what they don’t tell you when someone passes away because the grief can be all consuming and seeing anything positive at the time can seem impossible but I’m here to tell you that your loved one is still listening and can communicate with you. In fact, they have even more power now to help you and support you as your angel in heaven.
So, do you want to know my secret to staying connected with dad?
First, you must believe in something you cannot see, for example faith or love or kindness. You can’t see those things with your eyes, but you can feel them. Next, tap into that energy of love still alive in your heart. Remember bright moments of your loved one and not the end moments that may have been ugly and tough. I remember my dad letting me drive when I was 12 and how exciting that felt. I remember he smelled like cigarettes and always tried tripping me when we walked side by side. I remember his laugh and I remember how many people told me I looked like him at his celebration of life. I agreed with them and smiled at everyone so they could see my dad in me.
It will be that strong connection in remembering those moments that will keep you aligned with your loved one. Remembering them at their best and shiniest moments will help that love grow in your heart and that love will make a stronger connection with their spirit. The last part of connecting is to not feel silly still talking to them, asking them the hard questions you need advice on and asking for help, by sending you some clarity.
Because my dad can’t answer me in words, I’ve come up with a way we can communicate. You can feel free to use my system. Trust me, it works. First, I ask yes or no questions and ask for a specific sign if the answer is yes. For example, I was contemplating taking a job that wasn’t the best for me financially, but I was worried I needed the money and should suck it up and take it anyway. See, my dad and I used to talk about business, so this conversation is normal for us. I literally talk out loud to a physically empty car or room like he’s right next to me. (Exhibiting belief) I give him the pros and cons and I ask for a sign if the answer is yes. I might say something like show me a monkey today dad, if I’m supposed to take this job. If no monkey shows up in my line of sight anywhere that day, the answer is no.
I’ve also asked for his help with physical stuff that I’m sure he has power over up there, for example the weather. Now this is where I’ve seen the most dramatic positive results and I think it’s because my dad was a boater and sailors know about weather systems. Therefore, I will get dramatic results fast. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been driving to an outdoor photoshoot and asked my dad to part the clouds for some sunshine to peek through for the shoot. It will be at the exact right time I need it, every time I ask. It always gives me the chills. Thanks dad!
Lastly, don’t give up on your relationship, trust me if you’re open, they will show you the most beautiful things at just the right time that you need them. I still feel my dad’s presence in my life, it’s just our physical relationship that has changed but we’re figuring it out. Dad helps with weather and my business questions, and he summons the most incredible red sky sunset when I’m feeling blue, just to remind me he’s there still helping me navigate life’s rocky waters. He’s tight-lipped when I ask dating advice, but then again, he always was, so that makes total sense.
So, look and listen hard for your new spirit guide reaching out to you to try and communicate with symbols or signs. My dad comes to me sometimes in a dream and in butterflies. I started seeing a ton of butterflies right after he passed away and it wasn’t butterfly season. So now, when butterflies show up in the weirdest of spots like one flying towards my windshield driving 65 on the freeway or fluttering in front of me and my niece on the snowy ski lift, I know it’s him. It makes me smile and I log that memory away with the rest of the sweet, silly, loving (physical) memories, for which there are many more than the difficult tear-soaked ones.
Although your relationship has shifted, it doesn’t have to end, you just need to be more creative to keep it strong. So, talk to your loved one who has passed on and ask them for signs that they are listening. If you believe and your connection is strong, I don’t doubt you’ll witness remarkable results.